Believe it or not, yes I'm still here! Life has been really crazy the past year, and this is why I disappeared from DA. My life has changed so much, from bad to worse and then finally it started getting better and better. I am so at peace and so happy now. Best point of my life in years! And it's all because of God. When you are in serious trouble and have issues beyond your control, it's amazing what kind of miracles happen when you let go and let God intervene. When you lose it all, and have nothing left to cling to in this physical world - not your parents, not your awesome job, not your beloved money, not your fancy house, not your sweet ride, not your beautiful face, not your hot body, not your intelligence, not your connections, not your relationship with your love, not your degree, and not even your own human awesomeness - that's when you finally look up. Sometimes being totally broken is what it takes for us to come to God. My husband and I separated last summer after 6 years of marriage. It was unrepairable; there was too much damage and the problems were too serious. Too many failed attempts to fix things. Trying and waiting for too long. I had without a doubt decided that this was the end, I had enough. But as of 2 months ago, we are back together. Here I am, back with my first and only love, and I can honestly say I love him so much! God was working on us when were were apart, He changed us and prepared us for a new marriage with each other, while we thought we were building our new separate lives. God is the only reason I can say I fully forgive, and feel no burden of bitterness or pain anymore. He healed me from the past. I still can't believe that He granted deepest desire of my soul, something I thought could never happen.
I grew up Christian and went to awesome churches and schools. I knew God was real ever since I can remember, even though I had doubts here and there as I grew up. I prayed the prayer and got saved when I was 8. At some points in my life I've lived what appears to be a "religious" life, and I have also had chapters of my life when I was pretty messed up. The dark side looks oh so fun and inviting, but you always pay a price. The Bible is clear - sin comes with its curse (James 1:15). Sorry, that's just the way it is. Been there done that. It's your choice though, you're free to do anything you want. God gave us free will. And because of our nature, we've all sinned and are very capable of doing it again. But a Christian chooses to acknowledge that they sin, they understand that it's wrong and that its not what God created us for, and that it was a consequence of our free will when humanity chose to sin at the beginning of time. Now this is the most important part: a christian accepts Jesus' sacrifice in which He paid the price for our sins through his torture and death. He did it in our place so we wouldn't have to. A Christian chooses to live through Jesus' power to overcome sin and enjoy the benefits and blessings from God for the rest of their lives. It's a commitment, a challenge; and it's not easy.
But when you truly connect with God and the Holy Spirit fills you, that is some serious, amazing, supernatural stuff people!! You actually feel God's presence, physically and spiritually. You don't have to be anywhere near perfect, God connects with you because of your open & sincere heart toward Him, not your holy track record. After meeting God, you don't have a single doubt left in your mind. Oh yeah, He's real. After 25 years of trying to live a Christian life on and off, I have never known God like I do now. I don't know why I didn't know him like this before. Probably because when I look back, I realize there was always something closer to my heart than God, I never put Him first. When I was a teen, I was obsessed with music, horses or a boyfriend. When I got older, it was money or the car or the house. Attention, being attractive, fashion or popularity. These things were what I lived for at times. There is a big difference between when God is in your daily life than when He's an occasional afterthought. And you know what? I wouldn't trade this life for the old one. The high always wears off, the sparkly toys lose their shine. Guys break your heart, money dissolves. I'll admit it- even a stunning pair of Jessica Simpson heels get worn out haha. But being able to close your eyes, pray and breathe God in. Wow. Sometimes while I work on the comp I play some chillstep from youtube and worship God and pray, and his spirit comes and fills me with peace, love and euphoria. Before I never believed this stuff actually happens to people, it sounds so mystical and out there lol. but it's so real. I don't know how else to describe it.
After all the stuff that has happened since last summer, I can say it's a fact that God really does answer prayer. He does the impossible. I wanted and needed one impossible thing to happen in order to fix my broken remains of a life. There wasn't any hope of it happening. I didn't even believe it would ever happen, but I kept praying for it anyway. Yeah I'm still human, and I gave up on God after 4 months of trying really hard. Life had just gotten too difficult and my situation felt so hopeless. But even after I gave up, God actually made the impossible thing happen about 3 months later! He didn't just do that, he gave me more than I even asked for. God doesn't just fix problems, when you make Him the center of your entire life - you really start living. This past year has been so intense, I went from destruction to rebirth~ and that's what I've been up to.
New Horse Stock
I finally did some new shoots this month! It's so awesome to be back out photographing horses again. Its been a YEAR. ugh. So you guys will be seeing a Fresian cross mare and 3 flashy chestnut paints coming up, I'll be uploading them soon!
The Ragoll Cats
My Ragdoll cat breeding venture has been coming along slowly. Most of our females have finally grown up and are ready to breed now, so this summer and fall should pick up with new litters. Lacie is due this weekend with her first babies from Mercury, so excited! Expecting a bunch of seal and blue minks. Next is Nika, due in August. We might be getting a new boy in the next year or so, that will be a big change. So that's about it for now.
Horse RPGs and Sims
Since I've been out of the loop, you guys should share some news about the role playing world. What are the most popular/active horse rpgs these days? And which ones in the sim stable world? Wouldn't mind checking out a few sites for nostalgia's sake.